I'm Kind of a Big Deal.....

Whilst standing over the stove, marveling at how hot water can turn hard, tasteless noodles into deliciousness, I realized something. I'm quite the catch. Not only can I can make Macaroni and Cheese without reading the directions, but I also make a mean piece of buttered toast, can pour a bowl of cereal with the perfect amount of milk-to-cereal ratio, and sense the precise moment at which one should unwrap and dive into a perfectly-dethawed, yet still cold Uncrustable.

I'm surprised there isn't a line of guys waiting to get a piece of this. (side eye, eye roll).... (Damnit, when are we going to have better emoticons to express more sentiments!)

And don't even get me started on all of the variations of mac-n-cheese. Kraft "The Cheesiest" (aka "The Original") is THE mac-n-cheese. None of this spirals, or "cheesier", or "Spongebob" business. Unacceptable!

Incidentally, in addition to the foregoing mad skills, I am also amazing at running through drive-thrus, ordering in, and dining out :)