For the first time in eons, my upstairs neighbors have shut the fuck up. It's a miracle! It actually doesn't sound like someone is flipping over garbage cans of dominoes on the floor above, or bouncing a bowling ball, or rearranging furniture, or jumping rope, or.... Well, you get the picture. That's right, folks. Apartment living at its finest. I guess I can't really complain though, given that i haven't had to suffer through such upstairs-neighbor-abuse since 1996-1997 when I lived in Issaquah and we could actually hear the people above GOING to the bathroom. Ew.

Today was a fairly excellent day. Work up early to drive down to Newport Beach to have brunch with Mel and Matt who were here for Ben's and Holly's wedding. We got to see Dawn and Jeff for a few minutes, and intended go have a nice big brunch together but since it was Sunday at noon, it was nearly impossible. Matt and I slammed several glasses of champagne, trying to make up for what pregnant Mel and Designated Carrie weren't drinking ;). That led to me quickly getting drunk, which led to a side trip for some special ice cream, and then a great nap. Had a fun email chat with a friend in NZ, watched some episodes of Snapped, got caught up on Glee, saw a few innings of the game, and played some Words with Friends. All in all, pretty good day.

But still, where did the weekend go? I already have a case of the Mondays...... Anyone up for some Chochkies? Flamers? :).

Creepy!!

Note to self - splurge and get digital cable / DVD in my bedroom.

Waking at 4 a.m. sucks, but waking at 4 to find some wretched poor-excuse-for-television Tyler Perry show on my tv is even worse. (yes, I sleep with my tv on all night. My constant companion. Don't judge!). Anywho! After flipping between the five channels I actually get in my room, I stumbled upon something so captivating that I'm actually sitting here watching the entire show. Briefly, it's some sort of children's religious programming featuring some Canadian lady and her two creepy dummies with whom she performs a ventriloquism act.

Yeah. Words can't even begin to describe the madness. Check it : www.maraleedawn.com.

What I learned from this episode is:

1). Be consistent. (???). Ok? Yeah, they kept repeating that, despite the fact that the majority of the featured audience members are children under the age of five and who clearly have no understanding of anything this broad is preaching, let alone what the word "consistent" means.

2). Ventriloquism really is an art. Not only should your lips not be moving, but the voices that you attribute to the dummies should not be creepy, and certainly should not have a Canadian accent.

3). At the end of the show, the kids all raise their hands and beg Mara Lee Dawn to choose them to be the one who gets to come up to the front of the room and put the dummies into their cases. Just plain weird.

So now that I'm sufficiently creeped out by this show, I'm slightly afraid to try to go back to sleep for fear of the nightmares I'm bound to have ...... Yeah. Must change cable situation in room....

A marathon (a what?). A marathon!

In August I was convinced that I should participate in the LA Rock N Roll Half Marathon. Now, I'm not a runner, but figured, eh, I've got like, 14 weeks. I can train! What better way to whip my sad body into shape? Plus, the majority of the Jensens are runners, and I have dreams about running all of the time, so it's in me! I'm supposed to run!

However, I didn't contemplate the fact at I would be out of town much of August, or that I would be sick and out of town most of September..... Fast forward to October and .... Oh shit! I'm so not ready!

But, whatever. I work out and go for walks so I figured, what the hell..... I paid for it, and convinced my sisters to do it, too, so I had to do it.

Aaaaaaaaand yeah. Wow. That sucked. I love lists, so as a reminder for my future self (when I start having running dreams again and think it's a good idea to run....) here are some words of wisdom:

1). Marathons take place outside. Outside has sun. And heat. And bugs. And trees, plants, flowers, bushes.... And the pavement is uneven And there are hiills. There are no fans, or air conditioning, or water bottle holders, or iPod holders, or television screens. Did I mention there's no air conditioning??

2). Marathons start very early. Like, middle of the night early. Not only do they start early, but you have to wake up even earlier in order to go somewhere to park and get in lines to take shuttles to even get to the start line. I'm normally not even awake at that hour, let alone dressed, in the car and standing around with 15,000 other idiots.


3). Marathons are 13.1 miles. Miles. Not kilometers. There's a big difference. I was so happy to see the various signs which showed our progress.....one mile, two miles, etc. So why, then, did I come up a hill to see a big fat "5" on a sign before me, only to find, as I got closer, that it was a sign depicting the distance in kilometers....not miles! WTF??? Not cool. I pretty much gave up right then and there.

In the end, I am sure it would have been way more enjoyable had I brought my phone or iPod, but for whatever reason, I brought neither. Now, me, alone for hours with only my own thoughts to keep me company is a bad, bad thing. All I did was think about work, my fat ass, and other ways in which I'm an utter failure. NOT good!! If there were going to be a next time, I'd surely have some rocking' tunes to keep me movin'.....

I wish I could say it was a better experience, but it sucked. It was my fault that it sucked due to lack of (outdoor) training. But I'm glad I did it and am even more happy that it's done and over with!!!!!