I'm not normally a conspiracy theorist but lately, I've felt like a distrustful, crotchety old lady because I'm just not buyin' it. You may be asking, "What's crawled up Amy's ass THIS time?" Well, let me tell you (as if you could stop me). I'm starting to feel taken advantage of by the makers of random goods. For example:
1) Pain Relievers - So you've got your Advil and your Tylenol, right? But why are there seventy variations of the painkillers on the shelves? At the end of the day, 99% of the products are comprised solely of either 500mg of Acetominaphen, or 200 mg of ibuprofen, so even though they're all virtually identical, they package them as different products. Sure, Tylenol PM or Advil Cold and Sinus are different, but I'm talking about plain ol' pain reliever. I hate them, because they make me feel that I need one bottle of Advil for whatever, one for headaches, one for lady business, etc etc etc. Evil!
2) Crystal Light On the Go drink mixes - TOTAL racket. The package boasts repeatedly that it's "Only 5 calories!" If you look carefully however, you will see that the good ol' peeps at Crystal Light are tricksters! They proclaim the beverage is only 5 calories, however, when you make it as directed, it is actually a 10 calorie beverage! For it to be 5 calories, you would have to slice the packet in half, and find an 8 oz bottle of water to use instead of the 16 oz bottle and full packet listed in the instructions. Now you may be saying "So what? It's five measly calories!" but some of us are obsessive about crap like this and I JUST CAN'T LET IT GO!
3) Age-defying face products - I'm done. I quit. I'm getting the damn needle in the forehead because I give up! I've bought EVERY stinkin' product out there that purports to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and to give better skin tone, and to reduce the size of pores, etc. and regardless of whether the product was $5 or $105, MY SKIN ALWAYS LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME! It's a racket, I tell you. A RACKET!
4) Value meals - It's impossible to be budget-conscious and health-conscious when eating at fast food restaurants. It costs more to order a sandwich and bottle of water than it does to buy a value meal which includes fries/hash browns and soda. So, at the end of the day, you can be rich and fat or poor and skinny. This shouldn't require that level of decisionmaking, for God's sake!
And yes, I like lists. So sue me. It's the best way I can organize my thoughts when I'm feeling cantankerous.
I think lists are a Virgo thing. I like lists too. I like lists so much, in fact, that I am now going to therapy and on medication because I became obsessive about them and have developed an anxiety disorder if I don't follow them. But that's beside the point.
ReplyDeleteThe point is, FUCK YEAH on, well, pretty much all of these, but especially the fast food one!! Makes me crazy! We are so freaking broke right now and it's so hard to eat the way we SHOULD be eating when fast food, or even processed boxed crap at the grocery store, is SO MUCH CHEAPER. I am on a quest to improve our diets and figure out how to eat healthier at the same time. (I'm blogging about that at my Pidge In The Kitch blog). I shop at Aldi most of the time when I shop, and most of their stuff is processed too. BUT IT'S SO CHEAP! Shit, I bought a can of kidney beans there the other day, and after I got it home do you know what I saw? THERE IS HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IN IT. IN MY BEANS. IN MY PLAIN OL' CANNED BEANS. Is this NORMAL??!